When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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