The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize