my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
