By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
