He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
