Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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