I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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