You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
