what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I didn't notice because vodka
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
