I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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