I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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