You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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