New low: just hacked my moms facebook
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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