Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
