omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
