WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
