She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
