Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
