So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
