if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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