Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
