shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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