FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My pussy is not your playground.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
