I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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