I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize