u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize