She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
