Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize