I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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