Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
