i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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