I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
