I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
