I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
