Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
