That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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