And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
