why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
