What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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