my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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