Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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