Small penises have feelings too.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Houston, we have a blender
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
