and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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