Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
