Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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