I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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