I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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