So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
