At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
