scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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