The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
