chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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