I just saw a hot homeless man
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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