somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize