We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
