The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
