I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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